Bedtime Stories
by Llama Queen Katie
Summary: Ethan is forced to read a bedtime story to his and Rochelle's daughter...oh dear...this could get messy....................................................................................


**This is just something random I thought up…please don't hate me for it. Here's the scoop: Natasha is the four-year-old daughter of Ethan and Rochelle. The rest…you'll just have to read about. Aren't I evil? BTW, this is just a oneshot, okay?**

**Bedtime Stories**

**Ethan**

"Ethan!" Rochelle calls from upstairs.

"Yeah?" I call from my comfy chair in the living room.

"Would you read Natasha a bedtime story, please?"

I groan. "Can it be short?"

"She's going to pick one out."

I groan even louder. Rochelle hears it this time. "Please, Ethan? I've had to stay home with Natasha all day. I think I deserve a break from her." I grin to myself; she has a point. Natasha isn't exactly the easiest kid to take care of…she's worse than normal four-year-olds. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Rochelle and I have had to take care of some of the other kids before Natasha came along.

"Fine. But don't let her pick out something too big," I warn, getting up. I walk upstairs and go into Natasha's room, where Rochelle stands beside the bed.

"Thank you," she whispers, kissing my cheek as she leaves.

I look at Natasha. "Alright," I say, "what book did you pick?"

She smiles and holds up a book. My eyes nearly pop out of my skull when I see that the book is thicker than both my arms combined. "A-are you _sure_ that's the one you want?"

She nods, and her smile grows wider. I groan for the third time in five minutes and take the book from her hand. Flipping through, I see that there are a thousand pages – thin pages, too, with small printing. It's worse than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in one book! I sit on the bed and flip to the first page, clearing my throat.

"Once upon a time," I start, "in a castle far, far away – not so far away that there wasn't a village close by where the royal family could have some fun, but far enough away that if you walked out the door of your house and went in a straight line, you wouldn't reach the castle for about three years – there lived a beautiful princess. She had everything any princess as beautiful as she – and she was beautiful. When I say beautiful, I mean _beautiful_. She was so beautiful, in fact, that every man who saw her instantly dropped dead on the spot, because his heart broke knowing that he could never have her because she was so beautiful, not to mention a princess – could ever want, but there was actually something she didn't have that she really wanted. And this was rare for a princess, as they normally have every single thing they could ever want, but she was one of the very few princesses who didn't quite have just that."

My eyes widen as I realize that the whole book is like this – explaining each and every thing that's written. Quickly, so Natasha won't notice, I grab a fistful of pages and turn them all at once. I start reading from the top of one page. The page difference is from page one to page twenty. "Her room was the most beautiful room in all the palace, for it had a pink dresser, a pink nightstand, a pink bed with a pink canopy hanging down from it, a pink closet, a pink tinted mirror, a pink vanity table, pink carpet, and pink walls, not to mention the pink curtains." I notice that the next two pages are devoted to describing the princess's room and appearance, so I flip another bunch of pages – this time going from page twenty to page forty-five.

"The throne room was a magnificent room, not quite as elegant as the princess's bedroom, but much more elegant than the bathroom, which was really just a glorified outhouse. The throne room had two golden thrones with scarlet cushions, beautiful white tiles, a gorgeous painted ceiling even nicer than that of the princess's bedroom, nicer than the bathroom, nicer than the kitchen, nicer than the guest room, nicer than the courtyard, nicer than any room in the house, as a matter of fact." I flip now from page forty-five to page three hundred and eighty-nine.

"In another castle, far away from the first one, not so far so that its inhabitants couldn't reach the first castle, but not so close that they could just walk out of their door and take two steps to reach the first castle. No, they had to take about 120394987912875273987598174912386498561293469284719864198236491826598237498236598210988 steps before they could even reach the river dividing the land. From the river, they'd need another 120394987912875273987598174912386498561293469284719864198236 491826 598237498236598210988 steps to reach the threshold of the castle, and then 89283749283473 more steps to reach its door." Now, I flip from page 389 to page 1000.

"The prince covered the first 1203949879128752739875981749123864985612934692847198641982364918265982374 98236598210988 steps, and the second 12039498791287527398759817491238649856129346928471986419823649 1826598237498236598210988 steps, and then after he was finished with those, he covered the last 89283749283473 steps to get to the door. He was surprised to find that the door was locked, which wasn't that surprising if he thought about the fact that it was about midnight, and most of the castle would be asleep by now. He really should have thought about the time of day before he left his room in his castle in his territory to seek the princess whom he'd heard so much about in her room in her castle in her territory. For lack of a better thing to do, he curled up like a cat on the doorstep and slept until morning, when he was sure that there would be someone to find him. The End."

I close the book with relish, happy that I'm finally done. I look at Natasha, who still has that evil grin on her face. "Did you like the story, sweetie?" I ask.

She nods. "Read it again!" she says, and I groan.

"Do I have to?"

"I tell Mummy!"

"Okay, okay," I say, terrified of the thought of Rochelle finding out that I tried to worm my way out of reading our daughter a story.

"I heard that!" Rochelle calls up the stairs.

"Why don't you come look at the size of the book Natasha picked out?" I reply. "Then, maybe, you'll understand."

I hear Rochelle coming, and her jaw literally drops when she sees the book. "One thousand pages, insanely small printing, and she wants me to read it again," I tell her.

"Alright, Natasha," Rochelle says, "Daddy's tired. And you should be, too. So it's time for you to lay back, close your eyes, and go to sleep, okay?"

Natasha looks between me and Rochelle, pouting. "Mummy read!" she exclaims.

"No, sweetie, Mummy's tired, too," Rochelle says, taking the book from my hands and putting it away. "I'll sing you a nice lullaby if you promise to go to sleep."

"I pwomise," Natasha replies, but I see her crossed fingers. Rochelle notices something too.

"Hands where I can see them."

"I pwomise," Natasha repeats, holding her hands out for Rochelle to analyze.

"Feet, too."

"I pwomise," Natasha repeats for a third time, holding her small feet in the air.

"Good girl." Rochelle proceeds to sing a very sweet song, which almost makes me fall asleep, too. When she's done, Natasha is fast asleep. I look at Rochelle meaningfully, and she nods, smiling wearily. This means that Natasha is really asleep, and not just pretending.

We go downstairs. I sit in my favourite chair, while Rochelle lies down on the couch. "God, that was awful," I say.

Rochelle nods. "I can imagine. And just think, we'll have to do it again tomorrow night."

I groan.

**End**

**Hehehe…my original idea was just for Ethan to come in, open the fairly small book, and say, "Once upon a time there was a princess…" flip to the end, "And she lived happily ever after in the castle by the sea." Or something like that. But then I had to name the kid Natasha…**


End file.
